My mental health

I've been writing this post for months now. Seriously, I started this last year and it has transformed a few times. It began as a look at my feeling of belonging and motivations, then I kind of edited it and it became about my on-going frustration with a particular project. Now it has become a catch-all for my current state of being.

I say all these things not as an emotional plea, but more as a way for me to get some of these feelings out and to help me understand what's going on. I also hope it might help anyone that may be going through a similar experience.

So to begin, I've found that I've recently been getting quite frustrated with my work. I mean, when you are walking around the house exclaiming 'let's just get the work done!," something's gotta give.

I love crafting experiences for users which make their lives easier. Whether it's something as simple as a web form or as complex as an onboarding journey for a company that saves lives, there is immense satisfaction seeing a user smile and nod along to your hand crafted experience.

Having come from a diverse background starting with working face to face with customers, being a volunteer firefighter, being in startup land and now commanding first aid crews at events, I'm a 'just do it' kind of person. If something needs to be done, let's get it done. There's no point talking about it and planning to the detriment of actually making it happen.

‍

I have a confession to make: I've never really felt like I fit in. Shock horror!\nThe crowd gasps.\nAnd look, I'm not saying fitting in a box is something I aspire to, I like being\ndifferent. But it runs deeper than that. As Maslow told us\n[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs], we humans need to\nbelong. It's core to our nature. It's what motivates us. So, when someone\ndoesn't belong- or indeed, feels they don't belong- they're going to be pretty\npoorly performing team members.\nSo, places I never fit in- school, sports stuff,

‍